Mom & Dad - It's All Your Fault
If there were ever to be a hierarchy of this list, these two belong at the top. Aside from the obvious, I literally wouldn’t be here doing this if it weren’t for them.
At this point in my life, and looking at what my parents have done for me, I am most awed by their amount of patience. I was supposed to be a big-boy-adult long ago. The high expectations I have for myself have been self-inflicted, but the “normal” things one should want in life—the things I know they hope for me—a wife, kids, house, retirement plan, a place in society; my parents have been extremely forgiving. Or, at least, silently held their objection. I’ve lived a lot of dreams, I’ve packed a lot of life into a short amount of time. I’m sure that once the music industry passed through my system they had a sigh of relief—"oh thank god, now he can finally move on with his life." Well, I don’t think that chasing baseball was what they had in mind. Then a novel after that?? Grow the fuck up, kid.
However, they never said that. Not once. In fact, they supported me. Gave me a free place to live while I drained my savings and wrote. They were the first to read my rough drafts, and the first to say how proud they were of me when all I wanted to do was light the thing on fire and jump off of a bridge.
I have no depth of understanding of what it means to be a parent. It’s certainly not a rational endeavor. I know I got sick of myself a long time ago—my whims, dreams, and idealism. However, they continue to be there for me. I hope I can one day show them how much I appreciate that… how much I appreciate them.
I want to be successful to show them that it was all worth while. However, I know that doesn’t matter to them. That’s not how they judge me. I assume everyone wants the best for their children—my parents happen to have an enlightened and sophisticated definition for the word “best.” They know me, intuitively understand me, and the things I need to be a whole person. Best for me is living life a little differently, and they’ve given me the freedom and acceptance to do that. Again, it’s their patience that astounds me.
